At 11:11pm she lays in bed. 
nights like this brings a lot of hurtful memories. Memories she wouldn't want to recall but they just keep flooding in .. 
thoughts of all the things she's done wrong.

At 11:11pm she thinks of all those she had to let go and the one she's about to let go. 
She blamed herself for having to let them go. These are nights when she felt so hallow inside, empty and out of place .. 
nights when her mind wanders to the unknown 

Suddenly she starts crying. Tears run down her cheeks and Collect upon her pillow .
She finally lets it all out . She's not as strong as she once was. would she ever be happy ? 
Would she ever be at peace ? Have an amazing rest of mind .. damn she wished for that , she really really wished for that .. maybe she thought he would be different , or she hoped he would , she wished but guess what nah he ain't .. somewhere in her she did wish for different well maybe not entirely , maybe just a little bit .. Oops 🙊 who's she kidding ..damn it felt as tho he's own level of fuckery had no limit we all have that moment when you put someone on a pedestal and suddenly you notice what's wrong, you spend all your time trying to fix it by making it right and all the while, you falling apart yourself .. 
No recognition , you feel deteriorated .. well I guess that's what's going on with her right
    it did hurt her , 
not 'hurt'  hurt is a four letter word. 
Almost cute sounding. Awww did that hurt ? No . It didn't hurt. 
Destroyed , obliterated, desecrated, demolished , or shattered maybe...... 
but No it didn't hurt her 
It didn't hurt her at all.. 
 She knew so much of what she learned  about love was taught by people who never really loved or cared about her .. and then she smiled but this time it was different. Her face smiled but her eyes didn't. 
He kissed her cheek and then she knew 
That you could become homesick for people too 

At 7am she had woken up with a new mindset but with the same weight on her chest.. out of the bed , straight to the shower , yes her night was terrible , she barely slept , all she wanted was just to be away from them as far as possible. She had to .. 

All set to leave he had to go take a smoke .. walked past her like she was nothing.. he hadn't said the word yet .. all it took was 7 letters , why was that so bloody difficult for him to say ? When you hurt someone intentionally or otherwise all you gat do say "am sorry " at least that's what her dad taught her .. he did give her some pretty good advice if only he took some himself .. shake it off girl , shake off the dad thoughts a voice whispered .. not that she was raised by him , she survived him off course he's always gonna be the villain of her life but that was some lows for another time .. Sighs 😁 to be CONTINUED 

11:11 

“stop comparing me to flowers
my emotions 
my pain 
my joy 
cannot 
will not 
ever 
carry the fragility of soft petals leaving velvet kisses on your skin 
my anger and my suffering 
cannot 
will not 
ever
carry the scrape of prickly thorns that you oh so selflessly cut yourself upon 
never act like you love me 
despite my many flaws 
instead 
compare me to oceans 
for the depth to my thoughts 
compare me to sea storms 
and breaking waves 
when i rage and grieve over the state of the world 
compare me to the stars 
because there are millions of facets to me 
compare me to mountains 
quiet in their silence 
but teeming with chattering wildlife
that have taught be to be durable 
no matter how many landslides
compare me to the sky 
vast and limitless  
that has taught me how i want to be
compare me to untamed nature
and tell me how you love me free”
— 
i am not a gentle flower blowing in the breeze; i am a wild goddess lounging in a throne of trees   

Sugar , curiosity and rain 

😊 have u ever liked someone so much that ur heart feels fizzy and ur stomach hurts and u just want to give them flowers and kiss their freckles and wrists and fill their emptiness with light and love? have u ever found the entire universe in just one person? have u ever looked at someone’s eyes and seen the moon? the sun? have u realized that love has filled ur life with light and kept u safe even when the world is cruel and tired and unpredictable? have u ever realized that love is enough to heal any wound? have u ever realized..that love is enough.                                           Love is enough. Let us not ask for gold. 
    Wealth breeds false aims, and pride and selfishness; 
In those serene, Arcadian days of old 
    Men gave no thought to princely homes and dress. 
The gods who dwelt on fair Olympia's height 
Lived only for dear love and love's delight. 
                                        Love is enough.

Love is enough. Why should we care for fame? 
    Ambition is a most unpleasant guest: 
It lures us with the glory of a name 
    Far from the happy haunts of peace and rest. 
Let us stay here in this secluded place 
Made beautiful by love's endearing grace! 
                                        Love is enough.

Love is enough. Why should we strive for power? 
    It brings men only envy and distrust. 
The poor world's homage pleases but an hour, 
    And earthly honours vanish in the dust. 
The grandest lives are ofttimes desolate; 
Let me be loved, and let who will be great. 
                                        Love is enough.

Love is enough. Why should we ask for more? 
    What greater gift have gods vouchsafed to men? 
What better boon of all their precious store 
    Than our fond hearts that love and love again? 
Old love may die; new love is just as sweet; 
And life is fair and all the world complete: 
                                        Love is enough!

A Collection of Our Thoughts and Experiences with Love.

AnodaEdogurl

11:11

Sugar , curiosity and rain

Love is enough